Down! Down! Under!

After a week long (4 day half day) session, Today being a friday I wanted to relax, enjoy and hv fun Instead....

I am very sad today...Feeling Upset, feeling down! 

Is it the Harmones? Nope..
Did I have a fight with Hubby? Oooh Noooooo way, he is been a darling..
Did Someone scold me? Naah
Did Someone talk about me (badly) - Frankly I dont care..

Still I am sad, Upset over some issues that has happened.. Oh No I am not going to disclose wat it is.. It is way too Personal ..I just hope god gives us enough strength to face this issue..

I know I have been talking about being positive, Optimistic etc.. but some things are better said than done! No I wanna prove this wrong and also be strong!

God please gimme the strength to face it and rise above!! Just like the Coffee beans example mentioned in my Whatta wednesday-4 here

Give me some Sunshine, Give me some rays!!
Give me another chance, I wanna grow up once Again!!

Finally here comes the most awaited Appreciation!!

Oh don’t think I am happy because I got an appreciation from my Client, this one is more difficult than the client appreciation.. Like I have mentioned sometime before my MIL doesn't express much n @ the same time I guess it is v difficult to impress her

There have been times where I used to prepare something Special/Nice which she would have neither prepared it herself nor tasted the dish before..I used to just wait n wait for a wee bit of feedback or an appreciation on that but Nope…
Unable to resist my anxiety I used to shamelessly ask "How is the dish come up??" and have always received 1 positive + 1 negative feedback..., I guess its like a Package you know… :)

From then I have realized and have stopped expecting, I know its very difficult to stop expecting.,. Especially for a person like me but I guess its better to stop expecting rather than getting hurt…
Yesterday without a grain of expectation I prepared a dish (usli topped with vegetables and curd and Sev learnt from Mommy) and served with dinner.

Actually Hubby loves to try new dishes, special food to be cooked @ home and relish the same…..., He is the reason why I would also love to try out new dishes especially the one which is not prepared @ home. But Since I am a veggie my dishes/inventions are restricted to vegetarian food… May be this is also one of the reasons why I cannot please/Impress my MIL, coz I don’t cook Non-Veg n may be for them Veg food is just ghaas Phoos(Has so many debates with hubby and Non-veg friends on this Ghaas phoos stuff that it can be a blog by itself)

Coming back to the topic Yesterday first time without asking, she herself said "The dish is come out well"
I was very happy coz I did not see this coming… :) soon she started saying "It is perfect for an evening snack not dinner, I am already feeling full, the sev is little oily" But I ignored all the other comments and also did no take it negatively (which I generally used to take) but just accepted her appreciation and went back smiling (inside not outside) I am patting myself for this acheivement and the quality to ignore (which hubby keeps on preaching)

It really Made my day, actually not day coz it was night… felt Nice!!! Thanks MIL

Marriage and its Learnings

      Marriage does change so many things in a women's life….Everything fresh n new, It is like starting everything afresh from the scratch….
New environment, new people, new situation, new occasions, new ways of Living, eating habbits etc etc….


Adjustment, compromise,sacrifice are the top three things that come to my mind!!

                     Adjustments to new people, environment,circumstances.

                     Compromises in relationships, situation and thoughts.

                     Sacrificing your needs,desires and wants.

      The sweet sacrifices made, adjusting oneself to the family environment and compromising ones wishes and desires for the loved ones always tastes sweet and never as a burden!! The only thing that the newly wedded bride asks for or expects in turn is the Sweet acceptance and a little pat on the back which she treats it like an appreciation!
Is it too much to ask for????????


      The husband's house will become her home when people in that house treats her one among themselves and accept her..
I am also somones daughter, someones wife and someone's DIL, I also like other women have my own set of wises,desires and expectations in life.


      Adjustments, compromises and Sacrifises are not new to me. Like any other lady I have also been there and done it in my life and after marriage continuing to do it is not at all a big thing coz ultimately you find peace and satisfied coz you know you are with the one whom you always wanted to be with!!


      I always thought "Expressing oneself" is a default character that everyone peoccess and rarely gave a thought that it is indeed a very essential part in a person's life.May be because I come from a family where we express our thoughts, happiness and grief too.. I have defenetely come across people who have not expressed much be it gratitude or remorse.


      No matter how much I have got adjusted,sacrificed and compromised to make this my Home..there is no crumb of appreciation that comes out of my MIL or FIL. When people don’t express their feelings you really don’t know what is running in their minds, Are they happy? Sad? Do they have a problem with me? Are they unhappy with me? Are they pleased with me? Hundreds of such questions pop up in my mind and obviously more oriented towards the negative side. Ohh may be they are not happy with some or the other deed of mine… But which one? Did I commit any mistake? What is my mistake??? When I don’t have answers to this then I start feeling Sad, bad,frustated and finally give up!!


      I used to get up @ 5:30 am prepared breakfast, Pack lunch to Office & run to Office, then came back and prepared Dinner..
Prepared something special on weekends just so that they will be happy and appreciate me… I couldn’t believe how my life had changed after marriage…


      Friends used to enquire @ Offcie… Hey you have prepared this dish so well… Iam sure your In- Laws have appreciated a lot…. I used to just nod but think inside…
Appreciation??? Yeah I waited to hear just 2 words "Its Good" but never got to hear that… There are innumerable times where I have waited like a baby to be appriciated.
Shamelessly asked "How is the food today? Did u like it??? Like every cloud has a Silver lining, MIL's every compliment has a Underlined comment too..


Q- How was the curry did you like it??
Ans1- You could have added some ingredient XYZ…
Me thinking- Y dint you tell me before?
Ans2- Curry is good but the roti was little thick/rough/oily etc..….
Never a plain and simple "Yes is was Good"


         I have started to realise that some people are different and have accepted, but then why taunt when not needed…. Unecessary taunitng,commenting being sarcastic… Is it needed? Wont it hurt? And Why ALWAYS have BENCHMARK???? My daughter is like that, my daughter is like this….. OK well taken but why compare???? Any given situation if I mention- I will prepare this or I will do this… My daughter used to do this, My daughter does this….. God give me a Break!!!!


         FIL- My daughter goes to Bank, so much responsibilities, comes home cooks, takes care of everyone, husband, kids, cleaning, preapring food etc…
Excuse ME Your DIL also goes to job, it is equally stressful, infact travels like a pig, prepares food, takes care of hubby and In laws too,… Your daughter doesn’t even have In laws to be taken care of, Has a helpful hubby who helps her in each n every thing… They are flexible enough to eating, sometimes even walk out to have dinner outside or order something home…. Will you allow all this here??? Then why Compare?????

Lessons Learnt-

• Daughter-In-Law, no matter how adjusting she is, will remain a Daughter in Law but can never be a Daughter..So, Dont expect Much just perfrom yur duties and be happy
• We cannot please everybody..Certain people have few things set in mind and no one can beat the already set Benchmark.... When compared dont loose your temper and mind too.
• There is a saying which goes. "If you want to please everyone, you will please none" so why try to??