Sweet Dreamzz

I love to dream and wish that the good ones should come true!!
There have been times when I dream with my eyes open, mostly about our future, before marriage it was to get married and settled and now about realising the life after marriage!!

Hubby and me mostly share our dreamz and talk about it.. A happy dream makes your day and a sad one spoils it by spoiling your mood.....

It was Long since hubby and me had actually discussed or rather dreamt anything sweet
Today morning @ around 5:30 AM we both were awakened by the sound of the motor I guess and hubby darling who generally is a Kumbh Karan (who sleeps no matter an elephant makes sound in front of you) opened his eyes and started telling me this with a smile on his lips... :)

Hubby- "You know what I dreamt about our Baby and it was a Baby Girl :)"
Me - Aaaaaaaaawww cho sweet :)
Hubby (with a sweet smile)- "She very much resembled me and you know she had bad cold .... I kept on continuosly staring @ her, was scared that she will fall off from bed and we had secured her with pillows around and a net above her..... I was the one who was taking care of her"
Me (filled with J) - "Oh is it wat about me??? Was I not there??? Oh I know you needed me to deliver a baby but then you dont need me right.....
Hubby -"No darling you were very much there but you were not taking care of our baby as much as I did" :'( :'(
Me- "So mean of you"....

My Realisation- Oh God I am so possessive about my hubby and even now I cant take it when he favours his nephew over me how would I take it when he favours our baby over me...????????

I keep telling him that he has to get me 2 chocs if he gets one for our baby and similarly in toys too... :) nice bargain isn't it???

Oh lately the topic of me getting preggy is a hot discussion and every random person I talk to or meet has to mention this!!

Some of the conversations/situations  that I have faced

Cousin- Wishes me and says hey you are 29 already when are you having a Baby?
Me- Stop that I am not 29, I have just completed 27 and now 28..
Cousin- Watever its too Late
P.S*- This cousin and her sis both had a baby on their first Anniv

Mom- Why are you guys not trying yet, try before its too late..
Me- Mom why are you being so pushy???
Mom- Actually my sisters (my pedamma's) keep asking me this and even my Mom was enquring "Any News Yet??"

Friend- Hey you are 28 already when will you have baby?
I am all furious coz we had just got married then and that too woth great difficulty(Is there a rule that I cannot conceive after 28???Grrrrrrrrr)
Me- Yeah we have just got married let us think.......

Some randon colleagues stare @ my tummy as if I am preggy... Oh god co-incidently I have put on a lot of weight after marriage and more in the tummy region... Its embarassing.....

Neighbour when we had been to her Son's B'day- "Are you expecting"
Me(Furious) - Nope I just had my periods today (Havent I told you that I was having periods when you came home to invite me??? Are you deaf?? Y are you embarassing me??)

Elder SIL's Co-sister who is close to MIL already had asked this to her- "What no news?? Why dont you talk to them??"
My MIL- She was enquiring about you, and I told her I do not want to ask them, its their wish.. Thanks MIL..
The same lady had come home and can you imagine what she did???
She held my hand and started touching my tummy in circular motion and asked, any news yet???
to which I replied- "No I have gained a lot of weight lately thats y it is showing..."
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
My earnest request to my Tummy

"Tummy Tummy Please go inside ; Dont come outside until a baby comes inside"

The only person till now who said "Y do you force her so much, let her enjoy at least 1 year of her marriage and think about it after a year, Leave her alone!!" Thanks R Atta (my Mom's SIL)

Oh My dad is also a part in this entire situation... He sweetly says I need my grandchild so that I can play with... I had given dad a surprise gift of Amar chitra Katha Mahabharath series and in return he calls up and says "What is this?? I need grand children to whom I can read this, First gimme that" :)
To which I reply - "Dad you first read it and understand more so you can teach your grandchildren"  witty

On a serious Note hubby loves kids a looooot, wherever you go he will be looking,playing with kids. In one of my nephew's B'day party my hubby was busy playing with kids kids n kids, the entire Mom's side family noticed that my hubby loves kids and were showing it to me n told "See he loves kids so much, this is an indication to you" It was so much in the party that day that I had to feed him food coz he had one or the other kid on his lap playing... :)
I just Love to watch him with kids coz he becomes a kiddu himself... :) Dad is no less and loves kids a lot... As kids he has taken very good care of me n Bro and is very eager to play with his grandchildren.
I too am fond of kids, especially when I see my friends n their kids, but get scared!! Will I be able to manage it?? Who would take care of me? Mom?MIL? I dont want to be unhappy, full of tensions, feel uncomfortable during the most important days of my life with a baby next to me @ the same tiome I also do not want to ask favours and be a burden... Whenever I think about having a baby these thoughts crowd in my mind and I give up saying... Lets see what happens.....

I am still furious!!!

I should acknowledge that I have the following disease-

• I cant keep quite while having food be it with hubby or friends… I eat quietly only when I am angry :)
• I have " A heart as big as a Ocean" types coz I make everyone in the group involved in the discussions/talks to make them feel one amongst us.. Be it in Office or with friends..I feel bad for people who hesitate and hence I talk to them to make feel good.
• I ask a lot of questions to people to clarify things…

(Dont blame me instead Blame my 2nd Std Class teacher, Miss Sherly who incultivated the habit to ask questions and also to Imagine things) 

My hubby keeps teasing me saying
"You are a Bundle of Questions and Only Questions"
 "If you stand for elections your symbol should be one Big question Mark"

Both the diseases coupled up and gave rise to this situation….Here it goes..

3 of us (Gal friends - L, G and Me) have lunch in Office with another friend R, Since we 3 speak Kannada there are times where either L or G starts off in Kannada and R keeps mum, I sometimes feel bad for R and make sure he understand what we are talking and make sure we speak some common topics where he can pitch in too..

On that particular day L and G were talking in Kannada and after sometime everyone were Quite….. My disease started showing up and instead of keeping quite I asked R- "why are you silent talk something, these days u are pretty silent" (As if I just couldn't shut my big mouth) there started our conversation -

R- The Weather is too Hot these days in Blore…
Me- Yeah true it is gone worse..
R- Its nothing like before you know, it has worsened, Now there is no charm to stay here in Blore anymore..(He was already cribbing for so many things)
L- Yes it is worsened but till date people prefer to stay here coz it is not like Chennai or Delhi you know.
R- Oh no people are moving out these days a lot from here, Many of whom I know wanna leave Blore and go because of this reason only..
Me- Oh Cmmon yes the weather is bad but it is still not like in Delhi you know…extremes…
R- Nah When I was here it was so good, not at all these days, no one wants to stay in Blore these days…
Me- When you were here is when?
R- 3 to 4 years Back you know, from then I am here only..
L- Then why are you here? You could have not come…
R- Oh I did not come here myself, that stupid company of Mine sent me here..It was not my desire to be here..

***By Now L, G(who was a silent observer) and Me became little furious and out tone increased a little

Me- The choice was still yours to come, you could have gone back if not interested.
L- If so then even now you go why are you here? (Very furiously)
R- BTW there is nothing other than IT in Balore and that is the SOLE reason why me or anyone are here in Blore…

***Helloooooooooo Mr R now you started off and you face the consequences………
L, G and me @ the same time started off not sure who spoke what and when.. But the conversation turned discussion now appeared like a fight

L- Come out and see what all you have rather than just sticking on to Indranagar, come to North Blore I will show you.
Me- Blore is not all about your Pubs, Restaurants, Movie halls and Shopping Complexes..

(Yes I agree there have been times when I have also felt that there is nothing here in Blore but that is out of a shear frustration of the routine IT life we live, but here it had become a matter of prestige and love to our Land)

Me/L/G- What do you want tell me??? Have you seen temples around
R- Ok temples, we also have temples there, Temples are there everywhere…what else do you have here?????
Me- What else do you want? Do you need a waterfront? Sorry we don’t have here? Tell me what else you want and I will let you know whether we have it here or not
R- Oh no you tell me what you have here, we have so many things there that we don’t have here.

***L was talking about some old temples which are famous etc.. My Blood started boiling and I could not recollect anything around Taak came the Answer

Me- Have you seen the Palace? (God why is that I couldn’t remember any further famous monuments, buildings etc in Blore)
R- Oh No I haven't seen it…. But this is all there in our place also

***@ this point in time I even forgot where does this fellow hail from, all I knew was is that he is a son of IAS officer and he can pay any amount of money to get his GMAT score of 700 and above…Believe me this is not my imagination R himself said that he wants to pay money to get a 700 + score one day earlier to this incident…
Me- See you have more money in IT that is the reason you are here and everyone needs money
R- Oh don’t talk about Money, We and our people whom I know(I am sure he meant his relatives) have so much Money that you cannot even think about and it is not here with People….

*****************Enuffffffffffff This is toooooooo much!!! This stuck me like a arrow and it was too personal a comment to make… this attack was very much egoistic and showed how much he valued money!!!

L started defending saying " Don’t say that here also people have……….BLANK……" .I could not here anything and all I could think was IAS officer's son who wanted to but his GMAT Score is now talking about MONEY!! This is expected out of him… why is that I did not realize earlier,… Even after G telling me so many times abt how proudish he is about money I always ignored her saying Nope dear he is not proudish even after having so much money n status and here I see hm today in a very different shade…. Oh God I judged someone so wrongly…

G- Lets stop this conversations, people are looking @ us..
G later told me that she wanted to say "Dhikhadiyaana tera aukaad" Oh if only she would have said it!! It suits the him..
Me- You talked about Money and you have really hurt our sentiments here, never expected this from you
R- It is you who talked about MONEY not Me
Me- I just said there is money is IT and never referred Money alone…It was you who pointed out MONEY

***B4 this I wanted to argue more but @ this stage I felt we should stop speaking….. I stopped this conversation..
We all felt very uncomfortable and stopped this discussion/Argument and left the place only feeling more furious and more hatred towards R….

Oh believe me I have had many such arguments with friends in Ex company but never it had turned so sour… This particular one hurt me more as the matter of money was risen and my perspective/judgment about a person proved to be so very false… I guess dats Y ppl say "Never judge anyone by Face"

Childhood!

Summer holz and all u can see around is kids playing, playing n playing….If only we had summer holz in IT industry..:'( sob sob:'(

Hubbys nephews- Chintoo and Mintoo have come home n its fun to be with kids, I try to make sure I cook something special or sometihing that they like, try to spend some time with them, talk to them and whenever time permits play with them too

Card Game - Pictureka!
There are 2 types of cards:
Picture cards - Pictures drawn on them
Mission cards- Topics on them such as a Sporty thing or a Noisy thing
Eg of mission cards are- "A wild Animal" , "A sharp object", "Weather related thing", "A tool" etc…
The picture cards needs to be identified for the appropriate mission card picked… I was the judge who picks up the mission card and the kids find out the suitable match in the picture cards and shout "Pictureka" , I judge who did shout first and if it matches with the mission card or not… It is so much fun to play this,sometimes hubby joins too and adds more fun quotent to it…. Funniest part is the in a hurry to be first identify wrong pictures to the mission cards n bare a penalty…

Apart from this we play the classic UNO, cheating and putting a DRAW 4 card to the probable winner n make him loose ;)

  

Basic Helicopter(I really coudnt think of a better name)
The other day the kids in the street were playing n laughing , on watching them carefully it was such a simple thing in their hands, a small pipe say around 10 cms long which had a 2 winged plastic colorful head, it looks like this rocket… All you have to do is roll it across your palms and make the thing fly and swivel in the air….It was such a delight to watch 5 to 6 kids play it together,,, the colorful rockets swirled n rolled n fell…. It was really a treat to my eyes :)
 I joined the troop and played tooo… Believe me it was so much fun… :)

Thinking abt  it how many games have I played as a kid??? Lemme try to list it

Guyish Games- Goli, Buguri,  Lagori, Chinni Daandh, Kho-Kho, Hide and seek, kallu Mannu, Chor Police, Raam chand, Joot aata, Fire in the mountain, Chaar Pathar.........

Girlie games - Kunte bille (3 types, Traditional 6 house, 4 squares and aeroplane), Elastic game, 4 stones,Kitchen play set...........

Indoor games- Snake and Ladder, Ludo, chess, chinese chekkers, pictionary,Business, Brainvita,Check 4,

The list continues..........

How many of the above mentioned games do these days kids know, leave abt playing it???? All they know is Mobile games, Vidoe games, Games in Computer/Laptop/Watching Cartoons end of the story.....

No amount of discussions had with Hubby,SIL-MIL, Mom and Frineds the situation will remain the same unless until you make a difference.

Like a squirrels contribution me and hubby encourage C n M to go out and play rather than sticking on to the virtual world!!!, we accompany them to play infact hubby recently bought a cricket set and BIL brought carrom.Hubby and me are very clear that our kid in the future should not stick on to the virtual world and should see and play like how we did... I just hope we shall be able to achieve it!!

Ah Ah Childhood!!!!!! This is something that we can never get it back!!

I remember a poem in Hindi which goes something like this:
"Aaaja Bachpan ek baar phir, de de apni nirmal shaanthi, Vyaakul Vyatha mithane vaalii, who apni apni prakrut vishranti."

I used to love this poem without knowing the in depth meaning of it but today after knowing the exact meaning and feeling that the poetess had I love the poem and her thoughts behind it..... .. Those were the golden days of my or praobably anyones life….
May be just for a day or few hrs I experienced my chilhood back!! And it made my day :) (I am feeling all Nostalgic while I am writing this) 

Sunmmer Holz n Exam results

Summer holz for kids and hence my hubby's nephews Chintoo and Mintoo are home... It is actually nice to hv kids @ home... Yesterday night both C and M were tensed coz their results were due next day... C was threathend by his dad that he will be beaten up tied to a pillar if he doesnt get 96%....Poor chap was very tensed yesterday night and was completely out of mood...


On Thursday 7th April 2011, morning may be around 10:00 AM the younger SIL calls me up to tells me Mintoo's result and here is the little conversation we had-
SIL- "Hey you know want Mintoo scored 95% and is 3rd in the class"
Me- Kool wow congrats to you!
SIL- Wait a sec lemme tell you his marks, aaah he has scored 49 out of 50 in maths...
Me- Thats really great
SIL- Congrats to you!! (Me Happy and shocked too) You teached Mintoo maths and the credit goes to you!! After you teached him maths I did not even touch it and its completely your effort!!!

I was really happy for him and for myself too as my SIL acknowledged my effort!! I soon started figuring out how well to prepare him for his next class :) ha ha How typically of me and how I have become just like my Mom.............

My Childhood memories-
On dot @ 6:30 PM bro and me were taken to upstairs with Mom(she appeared to us like a HITLER") We used to finish our games, pick up our bags and follow the HITLER ..
She used to take stock of wat all happened in our class each day and first help us in our HW and then make us read/learn by asking questions, mocking tests/exams by making us write.... How I used to be scared of her as she used to beat us on the knuckles for doing wrong.... Actually I was Kool coz you know I was very Intelligent and Puntual (Mom says I used to sit down to do homework as sooooooon as I come home from School even before changing and eating ha ha ) It seems that I used to complete my studies and also used to recite poems/answers of my Bro's who was 2 standards higher than mine... When Mom used to ask Bro questions, he sometime used to struggle to answer. I used to jump like a Superman by blurting out the answers/Poems loudly. As a reward Mom used to appreciate me a lot and as a punishment used to get threatenings/scoldings/beatings from Bro later for answering ha ha ha coz mom used to scold him saying "Look Look ur younger sis knows the answer"

If I am here today, sucessful then the credit should defenetely be shared with Mom for the  Strong foundation she gave me... Thanks is a word which is not enough.... :)

Ok comming back to my story,.,.. @ 3:30 the elder nephew chintoo calls me to say he has secured 96% and is 2nd in the class.... Thank god, he got on-dot 96% otherwise I cant imagine what his dad would have done to him.... Poor chap... Now rich as he got 96% and was all happy... I asked him treat and he said "Maama will give me" P.S Maama is my hubby, and chintoo is v close to him, so close that my Hubby forgets me compltetely in his presence,,, Hubby loves kids so much that he forgets me completely..Tannnnn.....It actually can be a blog by itself....

Later that evening both the monsters were v v happy and were celebrating their success, I also joined the celebration and we all had fun...Hubby got them Cricket Set as a present..

Some funny quotes by Chintoos 2 Maama's b4 his results:
Elder Maama- My BIL- "Come lets do a rehersal b4 the actual show... lemme tie you and show you how it feels :)
Younger Maama(My Hubby)- "Hey dont forget to record the beatings that you receive" :)

Discussion on the serious note: Why do parents have to force down so much on the poor children for just some meager % that too on such a small class not even board exams...

Do you remeber the dialogue in the movie Tare Zameen Par(TZP) by Aamir??
"Har bache ki apni khoobi hoti hai, Har bacha ki apni kabiliyat hoti hai, Har bacha apne anusar bhar uthata hai". Does it not pass a message?? Such movies are very insirational and the lessons needs to be learnt from it and just not enjoying the movie.. 

Agreed that Chintoo's papa wouldnt have beaten him as he described but wat abt the kid's mental condition, his fear, his thoughts ??? How much pressure he might have taken? what if he could not meet upto the parent's expectation?????????????????
Me and hubby were having this discussion and we really promised ourselves not to do like this to our kid in future!!

Kids should be given tension free zone so that they can give their 100% in wat they do... I would say they should be told that they will reward them if they score so much but not scare them that saying this is what you are going to receive if you dont....!!

Granny- Now only in Memories!

On the night of March 31st 2011 around 2:30 PM I was turning and tossing in my bed... Generally I used to wake up once @ 4:00 for Loo and get back to bed again but on that day I my mind refused to go back to sleep after the loo break and could also see hubby tossing and turning too.. I hugged him and still could not get sleep.... May be it was Intution.....

Received a call from Bro @ around 3:00 pm when I was very much awake, got really scared as I immedietely felt that something was wrong... Composed myslef and received the call to hear that "Granny is no more" It came like a shock to me coz Granny was just unwell as she was bedridden for the last 3-4 months followed by a  leg fracture and operation but never thought that she will pass away like this all of a sudden... Talked to Dad n Mom too but couldnt control myslef in front of my hubby...

Hubby had some important meeting in office next day hence decided to go to Mysore with Mom and dad where Granny stayed in a Old age Home(Ashram) with Grandpa... The entire journey me n Mom recalled all the old memories of Avva(Granny). Granny has 4 son's (The third son passed away recently in a road accident) and 1 daughter and non of us were near her when she took her last breath in this mad bad world.

I can still close my eyes and feel her warmth around me.. As a child I have grew with Grandpa and Grandma as our parents stayed with them for 13 years. Compared to all our cousins me n Bro have grown most with them  and hence are close to them too.... Granny used to cook delicious Yummy food, feed me, bathe me, I used to sleep with her and hold her tummy (which I used to call "Biya"), I can still recall how she used to give away food to the servants without my Grandpa noticing it, how she used to grumble about grandpa knowing he couldnt listen to her, she used to sing very sweetly especially the Bhajans and prayers.. as kids it has always lingered in our ears...Even as a adult I used to touch her arms and feel the smooth skin, sleep on her laps and talk to her and teased her constantly...How can all this just stay as a memory.... Yep dats what life is, she was 83, had seen a lot in her life but few things she longed to see was the marriage of all her grand children which remained as a unfulfilled wish

I am lucky that she could witness my marriage and had blessed us, when hubby and me had come home for Ganesh festival, I could sense that she liked my hubby and treated him well and had told "he is also my Grandson" Thanks granny for all the love, care and warmth that you have shared with us...

In my chikldhood I couldn't pronounce "Ra" instead I used to say "La", mom tells me that Granny used to take me in her laps and help me pronounse "Ra" "Ra" innumberable times....granny used to consoul me whenever me n Bro fought, she used to tell me to have some patience and never loose it.

I am happy that she had a peaceful death and she passed away as a "Muthaide" which means she passed when Granpda was still alive.. The painful moment was when I saw her lying on the floor and grandpa sitting there helplessly saying "She left me and went away" Grandpa and Granny almost stayed together for around 65 years!!!!! WOW such a long togetherness and a loss of a partner is really "PAINFULL". In the 65 years Journey of  togetherness they have shared the hapinness,pain, deaths, births,fought with each other,loved,cared and wat not....

The saddest part was when we had to remove the gold/diamond earings and nose ring from her, Pinamma were told to remove it and when we started removing it I could recall that I did remove it just 4 months back along with my pinnamma just before she was taken for an operation for her fracture... how she said that she couldnt remove her nose ring and we just let it retain.... I couldnt help my tears and burst out loudly asking her to forgive me that I was removing gold from her body.... It was a very emotional moment...

I wish and pray that her soul RIP and give Grandpa courage and strength....Granny you will always remain in our memories...